Psychological Tricks

 

 

Rapport

If you’re in a crowded social group, restaurant, bar, party etc… and you want to know if someone is checking you out try this:

Turn sideways from them (they will be either 90 degrees right or left of you), then very obviously, look at your watch (even if you don’t wear one, lift your wrist) then point at your watch and nod thoughtfully. Over acting is perfectly acceptable.

If they are keeping tabs on you, even peripherally, they will have a sudden urge to know the time and will either look at their own watch, cell phone, or casually look at the various obvious places where someone would put a clock.

Science confirms that strong emotions make people fall in love faster. Watch horror movies, rob a bank, go on a roller-coaster ride; create adrenaline.

Find out your common interests and strengths and exaggerate them, while downplaying or ignoring any differences that may exist between you.

Whatever your friend has just said, paraphrase it and say it again. The person who talks to you will subconsciously get the feeling you are a really great listener. Just don’t go too far with the paraphrasing thing.


Persuasaion & Manipulation of Others

Learn to use fallacies, cognitive biases and dissonance to your favour.

Whenever possible try to assume the role of the father (to women) or brother (to men). People will easily submit their trust to you.

The basis of authority? Body language, clothing style, financial resources, likeability/charm and intelligence. Combine them to lay the groundwork for all the other psychological manipulation techniques.

The Deference Principle: People will trust you and follow your instructions if you appear to be a person of authority.

Use the Door in the Face technique. Make an enormous request (like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cristobal_Colon did when asking for funding of his expedition) without the intention of having anyone accept the unrealistic offer. If you follow up with a small request afterwards, you are much more likely to have your request granted. Avoid making too big of a request/demand though because you might run risk of sabotaging the whole negotiation with an insulting demand.

Similar to the Foot in the Door technique. Ask them for a small favour and if they agree, follow up with a larger request.

Want someone to agree with you? Start asking them something you know they are going to agree upon, even if unrelated. For example ask a liberal person “I hate Hitler, do you like him?”. Follow up with the question or request you wish your vis-á-vis to agree upon.

If you want people to agree to your request, offer to do a little part of it, they are much more likely to agree if they see your good will and that you are prepared to put in some effort.

The Placebo Information. Give people any reason using “because” in your request. Studies have shown that the compliance can skyrocket, when giving any reason for your request. For example: Can you join me at the event tonight because I need an escort.

People love people who like them. People hate people who hate them.

Whenever you want someone to cooperate, agree with you or want them to calm down when angry, stand in a 45° angle to them or next to them. Standing or sitting in a direct line of a person tricks the brain into believing that the vis-à-vis is an enemy. Avoid this in interactions where your aim is cooperation.

People will be more likely to do you favors if you make more physical, platonic contact with them. Note the word “platonic”. Unless they are attracted to you, flirtatious behaviour will make them more aloof. One of the highly successful psychological manipulation techniques, frequently used subconsciously.

Be aware of whether a person is a “thinker” or a “feeler” and target your message accordingly. Most people though value emotion over rationality.

The three elements of every speech or debate? Logos (the Content/Argument), Ethos (credibility/authority) and Pathos (means to influence his audience or opponent, emotional appeal).

If you want to manipulate people, alter their mental state. A scared, stressed, shocked or anxious person has less inclination to refuse. Reason is that they think with their primitive limbic system, which only knows black & white, but no shades of grey.

A two-sided argument refuting the opposite argument is more persuasive than a one-sided argument. Read the definition here.

Light swearing at the beginning or end of a speech, debate, etc is often beneficial as it increases the audience’s perception of the speaker’s intensity.

What everyone is aiming for: Affiliation, being liked, accuracy and a positive self-concept and protection of his ego.

Tell people that they look/are exactly the type of person who would do xyz.

Convince them that you are Jesus Christ reborn. Pretend to be loved by everyone to create massive social proof.

Never use qualifying words (maybe, probably,…) when trying to influence people. Instead, frame your words in a way that makes them sound like you are only stating confirmed, definite facts.

A person who frequently draws attention to his genitals(scratching, adjusting down there. Holding his belt with his thumbs, ergo taking a manly stance) values his masculinity. Attacks on his masculinity will hurt him much more while he will love to hear compliments about it.

Mirror other people’s body language and actions. Don’t do it instantly, because they will catch up on it, but do it with some time delay.

Match your speech (speed, use of words, pitch) to your vis-à-vis to build rapport

Belief and emotion trumps rationality and logic.

To effectively deliver advice, say “my father once told me, that it is best to do xyz that way”.

One of the strongest tools to shame someone is to accuse them of being creepy. This is a word nobody wants to be associated with.

Emphasise scarcity. People want what they can’t have, or at least what might be running short.

Reversal: Abundance. If you come from a place of abundance, are known for or appear to not be needing the deal/the girl/the job, you are in a favourable position.

Dominance is sexy. Women are more likely to agree with something, if they are touched on the arm during the request.

If your target starts raising their voice, tell them that you’ll understand them better if they talk calmly. This phrase is provocative because everyone wants to be understood in a debate. Same goes for a sudden increase in speed.

Want an answer to a question? Instead of asking the question, post a wrong answer. People are much more likely to correct you than answer a question.

Assumption Principle: Assume that the other person agrees with your terms. Example “I am going to come to your place and show you how I can save you money on your insurance. When is the best time?”Even better is to combine this approach with limited options. Make people choose between 20:00 and 21:30.

Want your kids to eat broccoli? Go ahead and ask them if they want two or five stalks of broccoli instead of asking them if they want broccoli. Thus, you’ve made your mind and chose broccoli for their lunch, but they feel like they have really made their own decision. You can use the same old trick in different situations.

Your friend will most likely help you carry, let’s say, a box of your stuff if you continue talking while handing over the box. The majority of people won’t even notice you’re handing them something and will take it. However, some people more attentive and less close to you may get pretty confused.

If you want someone to help you, start your phrase with the words ‘I need your help…’ People hate feeling guilty and that’s why they won’t be able to refuse to help.

If you’re lying, always always ALWAYS include some detail that is embarrassing to you. It makes your story far more believable.

For example:
Instead of saying, “No I wasn’t at Jimson James’ house. I was with Randy the whole time.”
Try saying, “No I haven’t been to Jimsons’ in a while. I clogged his toilet so I don’t think his parents want me over there for a while… So me and Randy hung out.”

The extra embarrassing detail makes your story seem more truthful. It gets you out of a lot of shit.

When dealing with a religious person, swear to god that you are telling the truth, when lying.

If you feel like someone is telling only half the truth, utilise the tension of silence and stare at them.


Persuasaion & Manipulation of Self

Use positive affirmations. Tell yourself that you like your vis-à-vis or that you are not only the greatest, but the double greatest. Our subconscious minds affect the way we act and treat people.

Chew gum before or during a stressful situation to trick your mind into thinking that there can’t be an immediate danger, because you are “eating”.

A couple of confidence instilling tricks… the key to confidence is walking into a room, and assuming everyone there already likes and respects you. Make a habit of smiling at people… smile more and see how good you will feel about yourself, in the process you will make others feel good, and you will render yourself open to making more friends/associates. When alone, try making the biggest smile possible, you’ll automatically feel happier and more outgoing. Also, if you start acting like you’re a confident and assertive person, people will believe you are indeed that – ‘fake it until you make it’.


Miscellaneous

If you want to avoid that weird soft shoe dance that happens when you try to pass by someone but you both choose the same direction to step, look intently over their shoulder on the side you want to pass by. It makes weaving through crowds a breeze.

If you look above everyone’s heads, they will get out of your way and you’ll never need to swerve, because they can’t tell where you’re going. I’ve done this on Oxford Street in London and in busy tube stations. Works every time.

 


Sources:

  1. http://modernmachiavelli.com/psychological-manipulation-techniques/
  2. http://detechter.com/12-cool-psychology-tricks-that-will-make-your-life-easier/
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